Relation 14

I've always wondered if it is me

Or if somehow society failed me

I don't know and I've stopped caring

The world seems bleak and doomed

Kept wondering how long I could walk

Or run, or crawl, to hide and die

Not much to do, not much to think

Just laying down won't do the trick

Neither love is my specialty, crude, too honest

Can't hold the ball for too long, lost interest

Was it something that broke in me

Am I that lost that I know not what love is?

Silly me, I only know the pain of sloth

And wrath, and gluttony, and nothing

How I wish sometimes for the searing to end

To devour the world set ablaze by myself

And if I could lose it all, I would do it

With a gun in me head, one shot to see the end

Not that I expect to be saved

Lost faith and more through years and years

To think it could not hurt me anymore

Was too ignorant of myself, I've lived this all along

If I could ever write well, or draw, or sing, or play

I would be the very best, the one to make the switch

But I could care less, my name will never be atoned

Only after a century gone will I earn my reputation

Words make more and more sense as time passes

I sometimes hear the secret that Foucault talked about

In me lays the silver key, the great lining for a brighter future

No, I will not deliver it to anyone, you try and decipher this

Because I want this to crumble first, to see it burn

To hear it cringe under its own weight, to let loose a scream

Of agony, of retarded ambivalent buttfuckery

I swear, if I could fuck everything that walked

I wished, that I could drink everything there is

I hope, I could smoke everything to be

I want, to see everything belonging

I will, destroy your preconceptions

From my throne I see the double headed eagle of lagash

The four colors of the cross, the great rose that sooths it

The pelican mother and her sacrifice for her children

By right I will deliver, because I am

God, and you

My sacred right