Thursday, February 4, 2016

Party Crashing

Back when I used to work at the Medical Disposables Factory there was this particular person that had to crash in order for the party to be really successful, just that it is not that kind of crashing that I’m talking about.
See, back when he started at the company he had bought a red Grand Am from my last boss, and he in turn had bought a pickup truck which he fixed in order to go through the Baja Rally every year, which had never been crashed, ever. When this guy bought the car, just a week or two after he had just been hired, he called everyone in the middle of the night asking them if they could come in and taking out of a ravine he had fallen into, no one believed him.
Next day he came in the car was in bad state but it still worked, apparently it had happened, the guy had fell asleep at the wheel, after a wild party, and went through the contention barrier downhill until he reached rock bottom. He was perfectly fine and had no scratches.
This continued through the almost three years I had worked at the company, eventually we said that the guy had to crash his car every time we went out drinking otherwise it wasn’t a real party, and I saw him crash that car more times that I could have ever been bothered to count for, hell, at one point we told him he should have sent a letter, a physical one not just an e-mail, to General Motors thanking them for making such an excellent car and that American car engineering had been proved time and time again under his alcoholism behind the wheel.
There was also this time when the guy took a friend of mine, the one that got me the job as an IT Technician there, and on the way home the drunken ass had missed the exit but he thought it would be easy to just do a rough turn and catch the exit, the exit was a damn ramp, the car flew through the air, meters, feet, doesn’t matter, the car was in the air and they sobered up as soon as they hit the ground and, somehow, managed to park so they could gaze at what was left of the right back wheel, it was just literally hanging there in an inclination of thirty degrees, they, again, had proven American engineering to be far superior to any other car because we are quite sure others wouldn’t have made it through.
So remember, if you ever have a friend that likes to drive really fast when he is drunk, and we all have at least one of those, then recommend him a General Motors Grand AM, it may just save his life and I am dead serious about this.

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